I leave in 14 hours. I'm long overdue to be back. It's been 780 days since my feet were on German soil, which is the longest stretch I've gone since I first went as a naïve little baby graduate student.
The last time I went with a group, it was not a great experience. I'm fairly confident this time will be different, but I'm a bit nervous.
I am hoping to play 4 instruments, but have yet to confirm any of them 100%. That makes me a lot nervous. OK, if we're being honest here, this makes me downright panicky.
I wish I was playing more, but the places we are going are all organ deserts. This makes me nervous. Terrified, really. I need to play and the urge has gotten so strong it consumes me from the inside out.
This is only a very, very quick trip. In fact, this is by far the shortest trip I've ever taken to Germany. Will I feel like it is just a tease and will leave me even more hungry for time there? This makes me nervous.
I'm not really going anywhere new this time, but excited for the opportunity to be there with some of the most influential people in my life. I knew when I signed up for this trip that I'd likely end up frustrated at times with the whole group travel thing, but I knew that I'd regret for the rest of my life not taking the opportunity to be in Germany with these people, so in the end, I signed up.
I am glad to be going. I need to be going. I hope to go again in July so I see this short trip as a way to tide me over until I can go and spend lots of time on lots of instruments and get the full experience.
There are always a lot of unknowns with travel, particularly when one goes overseas. This trip is no different, but the unknowns are very different.
I'm excited and not all at the same time, but I'm long overdue for a dose of Germany.
I'm grateful for the opportunity to go back to the country I love so dearly, even if only for a few short days.